Icing Sugar
by TangerineFields
Summary: Sirius and James bring snow and foulmouthedness inside in the run up to Christmas. Mischief and madness ensue.  RemusxSirius assumed


A/N: There will be more SiriusxRemus fluff, but for now here's some midwinter mischief from Padfoot and Prongs...

Disclaimer: All of the characters are J. K. Rowling's, I can only lay claim to the tomfoolery :)

**Icing Sugar**

"Mornin' Prongs." Sirius skidded across the kitchen floor, turning on his heel to deposit a budging bag of multicoloured presents on the table.

"You tryin' to be Mary Poppins this morning, Pads?" James turned away from the icing he was rolling for a rather impressive looking Christmas cake and grinned at Sirius, hands covered in icing sugar. "Give us a hug then."

"And I'm the puff," Sirius grumbled, and then swore as James' barrelled into him. "That wasn't a hug that was a bloody-" but before he had time to finish, James was running his hands through Sirius' hair, their noses uncomfortably close. "Jamie, you know I love you, mate but I've got Moons for this…"

James smirked, and pushed Sirius away, grinning at his now icing sugar free hands. "Thanks, Pads, couldn't find the tea towel, see, and you worked just as well."

Sirius' eyes widened. "You filthy little-" He put a hand up to his hair, and his fingers came away white.

"Keep your foul mouth for the bedroom, Pads." James tipped his head toward Harry's highchair. The toddler was snuffling sweetly as he dozed, his pot of yoghurt forgotten.

"He can't hear in his sleep." Sirius growled.

"Nah, you'd be surprised." James was still grinning. "Think Rem'll be into octogenarians, Pads? Lookin' at you, it'd be nearly necrophilia."

"Shut it and prepare to die, Potter!" Sirius had made a dive for the bright pink box of icing sugar, and not even James' Quidditch sharpened reflexes could stop his hands closing around it.

"Pads…" James glanced desperately toward the doorway as his best mate advanced menacingly on him. "Lily'll kill me."

Sirius' laugh was more of a bark. "Yeah, I know that, Prongs."

"Well, you wouldn't wanna live without me now, would you? I mean, how bad would you feel if I-" James spluttered and then began to choke as a cloud of icing sugar caught him in the face. "Bastard!"

"No swearing in front of the kiddie, Prongs." Sirius was grinning manically, and looking as if he belonged at an Einstein convention.

"Right," James growled, and plunged his hands into the mess on the work surface. "You are so dead, Black."

"Gotta get me first, Jamie!" Sirius beamed, and threw another burst of sugar at James, who was approaching, arms out and Dracula like from the icing smog.

"Muahahaha!" James cackled, as he leapt from the mist at Sirius and tackled him to the floor. "Give up, Pads or it's going in your ears!"

"Ah, fuck!" Sirius gasped, as James stuck a finger into his ear. "Wanker! Gerroff!" Sirius lobbed the box at James, which burst in an icing atom bomb that coated the wrestling men.

"James?" Lily was standing in the doorway, her arms most decidedly crossed. She didn't look particularly amused.

"Hi Lil…" James choked, his lungs protesting at his breathing in icing rather than air.

Sirius threw James off him, and crawled away, hacking sugar from his lungs in a gob on the snowy floor.

"Sirius, that's disgusting." Lily regarded the kitchen, which looked like the set of Narnia and wondered which of them would be Mr Tumnus. "I hope you two were planning on cleaning up afterwards," she said, as two abominable snowmen struggled to their feet

Sirius groaned and glanced at James, who, despite it all was still messing up his bleached white hair.

"Course we were, sweetheart."

"Oh good," Lily smiled benevolently, and then frowned. "Where's Harry?"

There was a very small sneeze, and Lily shrieked as Harry emerged from the icing fog. "You've sugar coated my baby!"

James gingerly picked up Harry, who was gurgling adorably, and proffered him in Lily's direction. "Sugared Harry?"

Lily raised an eyebrow delicately before taking her son, holding him a good foot away from her. "I swear, if I come down even remotely icing-ed, you two are dead."

James did his best to look repentant, but Sirius was grinning and staring at Harry, who was pointing at James.

"Daddy wanker," he giggled happily. "Waanker."

Lily's eyes grew terrifying wide. "James…" she growled.

"It was Sirius!"

Sirius held his hands up. "Hey," he grinned. "Harry's right. James is a wanker."

"Pads!"

"Waaanker..." Harry sang happily. "Daddy wanker!"

Lily regarded the two men in disgust. "You have corrupted my child and icing coated my kitchen. If I don't come down to find this and Harry's little mind spotless, Remus'll have to live without you, Sirius."

"Bugger," Sirius muttered, as she slammed the kitchen door behind her. "You'll have St. George round to slay that one in a minute, Prongs."

James glanced at Sirius, an eyebrow raised. "I've got to live with her," he tossed a cloth in Sirius' direction. "So get scrubbing, bastard, or I'll tell Remus why he can't open his Christmas present in front of his parents."

"You wouldn't…" Sirius feigned horror. "After me not telling Lily about that photo you got off to."

James' look shot daggers. "Hate you, Black."

"Hey," Sirius grinned, as he took a swipe at the fridge. "Feeling's mutual, Potter."

James growled, and took a swipe at Sirius, the dishcloth catching him round the shoulder. "Oi!" Sirius winced, "Little bugger!"

James winked. "Thought that was you."

"Less of the little," Sirius growled, and leapt at James, who slipped on the iced floor and flailed backwards. There was a sickening oomph, as the cake toppled and smashed on the kitchen tiles.

"Shit…" James struggled to sit upright, staring at the mess between his legs. "Oh fuck. Lily is going to go apeshit…"

Sirius coughed, and then glanced at James, his shoulders already starting to shake.

"Padders, this isn't funny."

Sirius smirked, and then snorted, holding onto the side as a peel of laughter burst from his lips. "Shit, Prongs, your face…" he slid onto the floor, long hair flopping into his eyes as he giggled hysterically. "You look like you looked when…" he dissolved again, dropping his head into his hands. "Ah gods…"

"Sirius, this isn't funny."

"But it is. Seriously, Jamie, you have no idea…"

James glanced at the mess again and groaned. "She is going to murder me."

"No shit," Sirius chuckled, inching forward and swiping a chunk. "Merlin, this is bloody brilliant cake."

"Was, Pads. Was bloody brilliant cake. Ah gods, what am I supposed to do?"

There was a pause, as James groaned and banged his head backed against the cupboards, and then the top step creaked and both men froze.

"You know, Prongs," Sirius crawled to his feet. "It's been good, mate, it's been good and me an' Rem'll be round Friday morning, right? But you know, places to be, an' all."

"Padders…" James stared at Sirius pleadingly. "You're not doing this to me."

"Yeah, Prongs," Sirius' fingers tugged the hairs at the nape of his neck. "See ya tomorrow, mate." And with a bang of the kitchen door he'd scarpered for the fire. James heard the whoosh as the floo flared to life.

"Bastard!" He yelled, through the half open door and then dropped his head in his hands. If he was lucky, the floor was going to swallow him up before Lily got into the kitchen.

"What the-" No such luck. James glanced up sheepishly and met the laser eyes of his furious wife.

"Daddy!" Harry was squirming in her arms, his pudgy fingers outstretched. "Daddy wanker!"

"Yes Harry," Lily growled, as she deposited her son on the cake strewn floor. "Daddy is a wanker."


End file.
